Saturday, September 22, 2012

More About This Little Thing Called Love...

First off, I would just like to announce that I am ready to have a camera once more... not the camera on my phone, but a camera... a real life camera. Perhaps the Insurance Adjustor reads this blog and will consider this as she works away on my list of things that were stolen. Yes, perhaps, she does...

Secondly, The Red Barn Outdoor Market Fall Edition was more wonderful than I can even write about. You can see photos here. The Vendors, the Musicians, and the food were so amazing and the part that I love most is getting to see the community built between people. It makes me happy in so many ways.

But, neither of these are actually the subjects of this post... no, because of the first (no camera), I'm having to actually write and share and be human. I prefer to post pictures, be a little standoff-ish and be more of a computer robot... just warming up before I get really honest.

I've been patient and kind... I have of course, been humble and refined in every word and deed... okay, so there are still a few kinks here and there... I'm moving on even so.

"It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;"

Well, this one just really stinks. I actually always prefer my own way; the grace and mercy that must be showered upon me to put this one into practice is unbelievable. I like doing things my own way. I want others to like doing things my way. And even if I do end up doing something someone else's way, I am surely not going to be happy about it. So, this one's going to be hard...

Why do I insist on my way? Because it puts me in control. I like being in control. Having to let loose of control means that I have to place trust in someone or something else. Oooh, and there it is... I have to trust. I have to place dependence on something other than myself. Ouch, that actually physically stung just a little bit  because I have some major trust issues. MAJOR, people. 

I obviously know that trust and love go hand in hand... like in a marriage... but I've never really placed the two together in other relationships. Like by trusting someone, by placing my dependence on them, is actually loving them... and allowing them to love me. And that's big.

Wow... well, I don't know how I ended up here and I'm not really sure that this will even make sense to anyone else on earth, but it has me thinking.

Also, as I was writing this, I found one of my favorite necklaces that I thought had been stolen. It was hiding in a jar on my desk... thank you to the Little Love who probably had something to do with this!!!!

Have a lovely, wonderful weekend! Mine will be filled with local Fall Markets, Potato Soup and the theatre!!

Saturday, September 8, 2012

I Am Everything Love Is Not.

Since one of the items stolen from The Great Thievery of 2012 was my camera, and my phone doesn't seem to want to share any of my photos, words shall be written!

So... patience and kindness... how did it go? For me, it went quite well; and then I awoke. The three lovely little souls were also awake and in full gear... as always. Though each time I did act out of impatience and unkindness, I did think back to what I wrote. That counts for something, right? I long for the moment when my first THOUGHT is one of patience and kindness follows in word and deed. I am not there yet, I can tell you that.

Diving right in... "love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude." Easy! I'm so awesome at this loving others thing, I put everyone to shame! Oh... heh heh... or perhaps I don't even come close. Synonymous with envy are the words jealousy, covetousness, resentment, and uh-oh... discontentment; oh dear, this post is going to get real... quick. This recent thievery that took place in our home was not welcomed in any way. Our doors, shut tight and locked well; our windows, sealed and locked. We were not in any way just allowing someone to come in and take the earthly things that have been given to us; yet daily, I allow the enemy to come in, steal my soul's joy, and run with it. And chasing him down to get it back is nearly impossible, it usually just has to be replaced by my Insurance...the One who guarantees my protection and safety. If only I could rest always in where He has me... oh yes... I want to be there.

Boastfulness, arrogance... two things I DESPISE with everything in me; yet two things that come oh-so-naturally to me. Humility is not a comfortable place for my soul to rest because it takes effort to rest there (which is actually an oxymoron). My soul actually prefers the cushiony, down-pillow-like comfort of arrogance and boasting about my own awesomeness. It's pretty painless, I know all the right words to say, and I've been doing it a loooong time, so I'm good at it. Humility, on the other hand, can sometimes just downright hurt... because I'm not good at it. Exercising every so often produces achy muscles just as often; exercising daily, builds and strengthens muscles. May I daily exercise humility...

I looked up the definition of rude (because I'm geeky like that and want to know what words actually mean so I can then awesomely throw them into a sentence to impress everyone around me... okay, this post/reminder of what I truly want to desire, will probably have to be read daily... several times...UGH.) and here are some results:
1. lacking in refinement or good taste
2. showing a lack of manners or consideration for others

This seems easy enough; be refined and considerate of others. And then I read the first definition of refined: free from impurities. Well, this stinks, because I'm impure to my core which means I will have to daily, momentarily ask to be made pure. This actually doesn't make my Things-To-Ask-For list that often. And though being a wife and mother provides me with plenty of opportunities to be considerate of others, I actually usually like to consider myself first... I may not always act on that thought, oh but believe me, it was there. Ugh... those dang thoughts get me every time. I want to be pure.

And I thought practicing patience and kindness was going to be hard...

The Red Barn Outdoor Market is ONE WEEK AWAY!!! If you are local, please come out and enjoy the amazing Vendors, Musicians, and food that will be there. I really am not sure what to expect this time, however, the feedback from FB and being out and about gives me the impression that this could be a really wonderful, enjoyable day. That gets me excited.

Ooh, and one more thing... I added My Etsy Favorites to the sidebar. There are so many great shops through Etsy who have owners who are passionate about what they create and I love that. So, you can see different items of mine that I "favorite" on my site.

Have a beautiful, wonderful weekend!

Sunday, September 2, 2012

The Things Of This Earth...

Yesterday, began as most normal Fridays do for us; breakfast, brushing teeth, getting dressed, etc...
Almost every Friday for the last several months, you would have found me at home. I don't ever make plans on Fridays because I usually clean house. Every so often we'll head out in the afternoons, but even that's a rarity, as I prefer to have the kids at home resting and preparing for the weekend.
For some reason, yesterday morning we decided to go out looking for some garage sale finds; and then we went to the park for lunch, though my plan from the beginning had been to go home to eat lunch.

Once we arrived home a couple hours later, I soon realized what our garage sale-ing and picnic-ing had protected us from.

We arrived home to find our door kicked in, furnishings moved all around and I immediately saw that the computer was missing from the desk. I looked up and saw into our room; clothes everywhere, the bed moved... Without skipping a beat, everyone was shuffled out of the house and adrenaline kicked in.

It makes my heart beat faster even as I type now. I caught my breath and ran to my neighbor's house. I called the police; I called my husband. I talked to more neighbors hoping that someone had something to offer. A neighbor said they noticed a tall, white guy in khaki shorts with no shirt on loading stuff into an SUV, but thought it was another neighbor, so they thought nothing of it.

I stood outside with my three small children and waited for almost an hour for the police to show up. My husband actually saw two police down the street from our house and asked them to come help. (I have SO many words that could be said about this, but will keep those to myself and stick to the subject at hand!!)

My brother and sister came to help with the kids, and I eventually just took them over to their house hoping the little Mister could find a place to rest as he was exhausted.

I came home to the same mess, except there was now dust from where the Officer had taken fingerprints. I looked over to where the computer and my camera sat and thought about all the many pictures I would never see again... my babies births, vacations, birthday parties, Christmas', family pictures, and just the daily moments... ugh... it makes me ache even now.  However, Facebook, this blog, our family blog and friends and family have similar pictures and the people in those pictures are safely tucked away in their beds right now, and I am thankful.

Once the fast food dinner was eaten, a few more breaths had been caught, and the Littles were nestled in their beds, I finally made it into our room. It was overwhelming. I knew different treasures had been taken, but once I began picking up the pieces, I realized just how many. The diamond bracelet given to me from my Love just moments before we said "I do"; the birthstone ring given to me from my parents when I turned 16; the gold chain necklace and bracelet given to me from my deceased mother-in-law... and many, many more. Sadly, many that were taken were also unique and handmade by many of my friends. We realized later that my old piggy bank that sat on my husband's dresser was missing, a pocket knife with an anchor on it that I had given my husband along with a few other personally valuable items were also all missing. Little earthly treasures that we valued... thankfully, the man I said "I do" to is sleeping in our bed right now; my parents are a phone call away; and my mother-in-law is at Home where our souls will one day be together again.

As I prepared to go to bed, I looked over to the broken lock and thought of the two guns that were stolen. Our earthly security had been broken and taken from us. I was clinging (and I do mean white-knuckled clinging) to the hope that my Security and my Peace would continue His protection through the night and the upcoming days and weeks as we try to regain that inner peace that allows you to keep moving. As I laid there in the dark, I knew we were safe, but sleep was nowhere in sight. I couldn't shut my eyes, but I didn't want them open either. Thankfully, the Littles needs distracted me several times and exhaustion finally just kicked in. And a new morning came as it always does.

This world can be a hard place at times; there are, unfortunately, evil souls who do their best to wreak havoc and spread despair.

My soul is weak, but stands firm in Hope; it is weary and anxious, but finds rest in Peace.

My body and my mind... are still pretty ticked off.