Saturday, July 13, 2013

Add Just A Bit More Crazy...

What a season...

We've sold our house. Every little thing about selling our house has gone extremely smoothly. Basically, a family friend who's an investor is paying us cash and that's that. Paperwork signed... done.

Buying a house has gone slightly differently. It certainly hasn't been THAT rough of a road, by any means, but buying houses can get tricky. You see pictures online or drive by and get excited about what that house holds in store. I've had this happen several times so far. And for those who know me personally, and perhaps even if you don't you may be able to pick up on, I can get attached to things pretty quickly. I know this about myself which is why I honestly would just rather not even be the one looking for a house. We have found a house though that both my husband and I like a lot. It was built in 1910, has been completely gutted and updated (COMPLETELY gutted, no original anything left... I don't believe), and has a HUGE three car garage/shop out back. So, the inside is great... the outside is... okay. It's over 100 years old, so there's just wear and tear that hasn't been taken care of over the years that we will of course want taken care. We'd had a contractor go out and look it over and will be getting us an estimate of what it will take to care for these things. It's just kind of a waiting game.

And that's fine. I have plenty to keep up with. I'm a little over 21 weeks pregnant at this point and have been feeling pretty good. When pregnant, my babies have seemed to all been very comfortable nuzzling up in my back and hips; this time around it's caused me to have an extreme amount pain in my right hip (like I can be walking and all of sudden feel as though my leg is just going to give out and make me collapse). I'm extremely fortunate to have a sister who works for a Chiropractor and have been able to see him about once a week. This last week it became so tight though, even he couldn't get it to release. So, stretching and resting and trying to walk it out have been happening a lot this week.

And then this last Tuesday morning I awoke to a VERY itchy rash-looking thing on my upper left leg. It was itchy, but bearable and I got through the day. Wednesday, I woke up with it all over my FACE. That was a game changer. It got pretty bad. I finally took an antihistamine for the itching, but the rashes became more red and swollen and was spreading quickly. By Thursday, I was covered with what I can only guess is poison ivy or something of the sort. I think my dog may have been the culprit, as I have not been anywhere where I could have been in contact with the plant. I went to the doctor. Remember, I'm 21 weeks pregnant. If you've never had poison ivy, when it gets to this point where it's just out-of-control spreading like crazy, the only option to really take care of it is to get a steroid shot. Oh, but not if you're pregnant. If you're pregnant, you get some topical cream that MAY help with the itching, but you get the opportunity to just ride it out. So, that's where I'm at right now. I have some homeopathic remedies that seem to be helping, still on antihistamine, and taking hot, hot showers to help with the itch (When you're itchy, if you're able to submerge the itchy area in as hot-as-you-can-handle water, the same chemicals that are released to tell your body to itch are released when your body feels an extreme hot or cold temperature... thus giving your neurological system a chemical overload and basically shutting down for a bit in that area... pure relief, for a few hours at least.).

It really has been miserable, though. It's in the high 90's here right now; add being pregnant, being itchy, and never knowing when your leg is just going to give out on you, and that's my life. Oh yeah, and three kids who aren't pregnant, itchy, and have full use of their tiny bodies... add that to the mix, too. Oh, yes, and we're trying to find a house to live in. It's a wild season, for sure. It's really nothing in light of eternity, but my focus is certainly being tested.

A verse from one of my favorite hymns has been on replay in my mind throughout the week:

Be Thou my Battle Shield, My Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou My Delight;
Thou my soul's Shelter, Thou my High Tower;
Raise Thou me heavenward, oh, Power of my Power.

It's very early in the morning here, and I'm itchy and tired and hoping that it's everyone's plan to sleep in this morning. HAHA Oh, that's a good one!

I hope that your weekend is filled with loveliness and you're surrounded by wonderful people to share it with... and no itching.

Friday, July 5, 2013

The Craziest Person On The Face Of The Earth.

That's me... right now. I mean, I admit that I definitely have a crazy side, but usually it's a bit more fun-loving and I wouldn't actually be considered criminally insane. Get me pregnant, put my house on the market, sell my house, put me on the hunt for a new house, all while maintaining the house and children that I'm currently blessed with... yeah, I am crazy... like out of control.

But this afternoon, I had a revelation. First, I have to say that I don't have many opportunities in this season of life to have moments where it's so quiet, I can hear. Today though, the little man is sleeping and the two little ladies are out with Grandma and Grandpa for a bit... and I remembered that quiet is so nice. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the noise of kids. Their feet running through the house drives me crazy, because they're running through the house, but that pitter-patter sound is such a great sound. The whines and cries of their physical beings are really just their little souls pleading for the same things my own soul is pleading for... Home. And sometimes my whines and cries are just as loud, if not louder. Especially lately.

Lately, I've been so caught up in this world. I don't how it happened, but I don't like it. I've been thinking of myself a lot, much more than I'd care to admit. It's because I'm tired, and worn out, and chaos and loudness surround me ALL THE TIME. And rather than let my Creator guide me through it, I've just been wading. Wading through a storm doesn't work. You drown. I've been drowning.

But this afternoon, the winds quieted and the waves were calm and I was able to hear again.

This pregnancy isn't about me. The Master Knitter is doing just that inside me. There's a tiny little soul being knit together and my heart is being trained and refined so that when that little round baby enters this world, I'm able to do the same with her. It's just as terrifying and exciting with every new little soul I'm blessed with.

Selling a house and finding a new earthly home to stay in isn't about me. Long ago my days were written; how and where I spend those days have already been prepared for me. Hundred year-old wooden trim and "character" are not as important as the souls that take rest there or the Love and Virtue that will be instilled there. This one is a hard one for me, as I think with a lot of women, our home is an outpouring of our souls. It's where we find rest and comfort and we have just a bit more control inside those walls. I'm finding my way back to my ultimate Rest and Comfort and again, am having to just let go of the control I long to have so much.

Loving the souls that surround me each day isn't about me... but it kind of is. Because when I'm loving them, I mean really truly loving them, it's because I'm not distracted or flooded with concern. I'm just loving them and unconsciously allowing the One who loves us all most to work in and through them and I together.

The straight and narrow path Home seems so much rockier and much more hilly when I let my eyes stray from the glory that awaits. I hope this afternoon of peace and rest will allow me to keep my head up for awhile, as in forever, but sadly I know myself and I'll be here again and so will He... because His faithfulness far outweighs my doubt... every time.